Sir Gwaine and the Green Knight, featuring Merlin
by cadfael256
Summary: An unexpected guest crashes Camelot's Winter Solstice festival, and Gwaine gets himself caught in a less-than-friendly wager. A new, hopefully humorous take on a medieval classic. Set after season 4.


_**Author's Note:** Hello. This is my first fanfic! Since we in this fandom are constantly ragging on the writers (not that the ragging is undeserved; I'll never be able to get over that finale), I thought I'd take a shot at reworking (and butchering) medieval legends. Hence, my retelling of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, except with Sir Gwaine (rather than "Gawain") and from Merlin's POV._

**_Disclaimer:_**_If I owned Merlin, series five would not have ended as it did. In fact, series five would have been completely different altogether._

* * *

The dining hall went silent, all heads turning toward the source of the interruption to their Winter Solstice festivities.

Through the great doors had burst the last "guest" any in the hall had expected. It was a knight atop his steed. Or _was it?_ For the man wore neither armour nor sword, but rather was clothed in the finest of jade-dyed silks and wore a verdant cloak with an ermine wool hood, which the man removed to reveal that his skin, hair, and beard, along with the coat of his richly-saddled and well-groomed destrier, were of an emerald-green hue, his only weapon an enormous axe with a keen, shining green head. The rider strode toward the head table where the king and his knights were seated, taking no heed of the countless eyes staring at him from either side.

It was not until the silence was broken by an annoyed groan that Merlin realised his mistake; though everyone else in the room was as astonished and mesmerised as he, they had not been in the midst of pouring the king's wine, and now he could see that he had accidently emptied the entire jug into Arthur's lap.

The king had no time to chastise his manservant as the green knight dismounted, speaking before the king could make any demands.

"Which is the man, among this crowd, who calls himself Arthur Pendragon?"

For a moment the crowd only stared at the man, until the king finally responded, "Who seeks him, and for what purpose?"

"I wish only to take part in the merriment of this great festival, for the courtesy of Camelot's court is known throughout the Five Kingdoms."

"And what _part_ would you have?" Arthur questioned coldly.

"A game, a wager of sorts, for of renown also is the valour of Camelot's king, and the bravery of his knights." The green man then held his great axe aloft and cried, "I relinquish ownership of this great axe to he who shall take up this wager!"

Arthur immediately rose. "I am Arthur Pendragon, king of Camelot. What are the terms of this _wager_?" Merlin smirked. The Prince Arthur of old would have blindly accepted the challenge before even questioning the terms; Merlin couldn't help but be a little proud. However, that pride was swiftly wiped away when he saw Elyan try to stifle a laugh, and noticed the stain that was all too visible in the worst possible area of the king's trousers. Merlin's smirk returned when he remembered whose fault _that_ was.

The green knight, seemingly oblivious, replied, "The game is simple. With this axe in hand, you deal me a blow to the neck, after which I will take my leave. You shall then set out to find me, until which time the axe is yours. When you do finally discover my whereabouts, I in turn shall deliver a similar blow to your neck. Hence, it is a fair game for a fair ruler."

The crowd looked on incredulously. Arthur nodded. The green man removed his cloak, revealing a lavishly-embroidered sigil, intricately interwoven knots forming the shape of a tree surrounded by woven clouds and a triskele on either side, at which Merlin saw Gaius raise an eyebrow. The green knight handed his axe into the king's hand, then placed his head on the nearest empty bench, moving his hair to reveal the skin on the back of his green neck.

To the astonishment of the crowd, the axe glowed as Arthur began to lift it over his head. Seeing this, Arthur hesitated. He held the axe out in front of him, and Merlin cringed as his master contorted his face at the realisation that it was a _magical_ axe. The king's visage then turned from one of disgust to one of raw anger as he swiftly swung the axe over his head, but not swiftly enough, for as everyone else gaped, Gwaine had leapt from his seat. He wrenched the axe from Arthur's hand and slammed it onto the bench, cleaving it in twain and leaving the green head rolling along the floor.

Without hesitation, the headless figure picked up his head and mounted his destrier once more. The entire hall gasped as the head, being held out by a green right arm, spoke.

"Know, knight of Camelot, that you have now accepted my challenge! Upon my departure, you must set out, axe in hand, to seek my abode, and when you do you must accept my blow to your neck in return!" With that, the green knight galloped out of the great hall.

In a daze, Arthur neglected to send his guards after the intruder, although Merlin doubted how effective that would have been. Leon rose and calmly dismissed the guests, seeing that a convenience of the recently-constructed Round Table would be in order.

As Leon closed the door behind the last guests and servants moved the dining tables to make room for _the_ Table, Arthur rounded on Gwaine.

"You idiot!"

"You're calling _me_ an idiot? I'm not the one wearing wine-soaked trousers." Gwaine tried to lighten the mood. It wasn't working.

"Well, we have the _master_ of idiocy to blame for that!"

"You called, _sire_?" Merlin thought he'd give it a go.

"Do you think I could learn that head trick he did back there?" Gwaine posed.

Arthur pouted. "Then we'd never be rid of your constant chatter."

As they all waited for the Table to be set up, Percival walked up and placed a hand on Gwaine shoulder. Gwen, Elyan, and Leon looked at Gwaine sympathetically.

"I'm going to lose my head, aren't I?"

* * *

_Like I said, huge departure from the original story, but this isn't meant to be accurate! I should have the next chapter up soon._


End file.
